Was a bit bored, and just set up my Asterisk PBX with outbound calling via Google Voice. As such, I decided to abuse the free calling service to contact a few major American tech companies. Here’s what their IVRs said.

Apple (408-996-1010):

Thank you for calling Apple. We are closed. Apple’s normal business hours are 8AM to 5PM Pacific Time, Monday to Friday. If you are calling for Product Sales, press 1. Technical Support,  2. If you are calling for any other reason, please call back during normal business hours and thank you for calling Apple.

Google (650-253-0000):

Thank you for calling Google! If you know the extension of the person you would like to reach, dial it now, followed by the # key. Press 8 to dial by name. At any time during this greeting Press 9 for the main menu. Most of your questions can be answered by using one of the following 5 options: Interested in advertising, call….

Microsoft (1-800-642-7676):

Thanks for calling Microsoft! Your call may be monitored and recorded. To get started, tell me what you’d like help with. You can say Tech support, pre-sales information, security, partner support, or Call an employee.

I think all 3 of these messages really say what each company’s attitude is.

First Apple. Their message says “We’re closed. Don’t bother us. Call us back at a time that’s more convenient for us here at Apple. Or, if you’d like to buy stuff, press 1. If your Apple stuff is broken, press 2. Otherwise, bug off.” Also, note this message is said in a rather unwelcoming voice.

Second, Google. Their voice is considerably more friendly. And, true to their roots in search/information, they provide you with a bunch of options which hopefully will get you what you want, with the least amount of effort from them or you.

Finally, Microsoft. Again, a happy voice that sounds excited that you called. Then, the legal disclaimer about call recording before anything starts. Also, note the very familiar tone, using words such as “Thanks” and “tell me what you’d like help with”. Very Windows 7. It’s interesting to note this is the only one of the three that uses voice recognition technology. And of course, the menu options correspond to the things Microsoft values most. Tech support (probably for a fee), sales, “security”, and business partners.